Tips for open and respectful communication with your grown kids.
Talking to your adult children about money can feel intimidating. As parents, we may worry about overstepping boundaries or being too critical. But, with the rising cost of living and ongoing economic uncertainties, having open, honest conversations about money is more important than ever. Here’s how you can approach these discussions with empathy, respect, and practicality to help strengthen your family’s financial wellness.
1. Start with Your Story
Before jumping into advice or any tough news, consider sharing a bit of your own money journey. Perhaps you’ve made financial mistakes or learned valuable lessons over the years. Sharing these experiences shows your children that financial wisdom often comes from trial and error. This also helps ease the conversation by showing that you’re not coming from a place of judgment.
If you have lessons to share, such as understanding compound interest, tools like the ASIC’s MoneySmart calculator can help illustrate concepts. This opens the door for a discussion about financial growth and mistakes you’ve learned from, encouraging them to share their experiences and concerns as well.
2. Set the Stage for a Productive Conversation
A planned setting can make a world of difference. Rather than bringing up money matters casually or during a stressful moment, set aside time to have a thoughtful, uninterrupted discussion. A relaxed environment, such as a coffee shop or a quiet evening at home, can make everyone feel more comfortable.
If you expect the conversation to be emotionally charged, set ground rules for a respectful and open discussion. These might include taking turns speaking, listening without interrupting, and asking questions for clarity. When everyone knows that the purpose of the conversation is constructive, it can help keep emotions in check.
3. Acknowledge Their Independence but Set Boundaries
Adult children often value their independence, so it’s essential to approach money conversations in a way that respects their adulthood. Instead of telling them what to do, frame your advice as something to consider. For example, “From my experience, it helps to have a plan for emergencies,” rather than “You need to start saving for emergencies now.”
If tough news is part of the conversation, such as your decision to stop financially supporting them, be direct but compassionate. Explain that while you care deeply, continuing to give financial support may no longer be possible—or even healthy for their independence. Tools like MoneySmart’s Budget Planner can help them map out their own financial plans, reinforcing their independence.
4. Discuss the Importance of Financial Wellness
As part of your discussion, highlight the importance of financial wellness and the impact of financial decisions on other areas of life. Financial wellness isn’t just about having money but about feeling secure and prepared for the future. If they need to re-evaluate how they handle money, approach the topic from a place of concern rather than criticism.
Encourage them to explore resources such as The Barefoot Investor for straightforward financial advice. The more they learn, the better equipped they’ll be to make wise decisions on their own.
5. Be Open to Ongoing Conversations
Financial conversations shouldn’t be one-time events. Let your children know you’re always available to talk and provide support. Whether it’s helping them navigate a major purchase, discussing financial priorities, or even adjusting to less financial assistance from you, remind them that these topics can be revisited as their circumstances change.
Having difficult conversations with your adult children about money can be challenging, but it’s worth it. Open, honest dialogue can strengthen your family bond, foster mutual understanding, and help your children take control of their own financial futures. By being a guide and a sounding board, you’re not only helping them make smarter choices—you’re giving them the confidence to face life’s financial challenges head-on.
Now is also the perfect chance to ask How Does Your Super Fund Stack Up? And learn if you should get insurance through your superannuation fund here.
